A modest proposal for sexual conduct
Published: Monday, November 12, 2012
Updated: Monday, November 19, 2012 04:11
This election season, I have not been surprised to hear abundant conversations concerning the proper politics of sex and marriage.
I have so far abstained from becoming active in any such conversations – but no longer! Those of you reading this article, consider yourselves to have struck it lucky. The following is my own modest proposal on the adoption of a newer and more liberal definition of what engenders legitimate sexual activity:
Our enlightened modern society has long labored to throw off oppressive and ancient traditional thought. Unfortunately this liberation of the human mind has recently reached a sort of plateau.
Enough is enough, and it is time for the champions of humanity to take the next step of the inexorable sexual revolution, dissolving the last vestiges of moralistic control over the human body.
The resistance has somehow maintained an unconscionable level of influence on the minds of the youth. As a result, our own forces have unwittingly absorbed much of the irrational and oppressive anti-thought of our ancestors.
Even today it can be heard that an otherwise liberally minded person cannot approve of a sexual relationship unless it exists between two consenting adults. Although free from irrational inhibitions about gender or behavior, such an understanding of sex is absolutist and moralizing anti-reason at best.
Nature constrains her children to no such arbitrary limitations on sexual expression as adulthood and consent. Adulthood itself is a concept unknown to nature, where close relatives of the human species are sexually active at only a scant few years of age.
It would not be unreasonable to remove unhelpful concepts such as adulthood from our thought and vocabulary entirely. A single age-neutral term, “adolescent,” for example, could easily describe an individual’s entire existence, eliminating the irrational age-segregation that currently blemishes modern thought. However, we must now return to the modest proposal at hand.
Age, it seems, has not been considered by Mother Nature to be an acceptable limitation on the legitimacy of sexual interaction. Blind and witless natural law cannot tell the difference between a 3-year-old and a 30-year-old in the other great apes, so there is really no supportable rational argument for perpetuating age-based inhibitions on human sexual expression.
In a similar way, consent is another concept apparently meaningless to nature but to which even the most liberal minds still seem bound. The sadly ubiquitous terms “rape” and “assault” are after all nothing but emotionally charged buzzwords designed to condition human responses in favor of artificially constructed standards of morality.
Are we such slaves to tradition that the thought of sexual coercion still bothers us? How inane! Baboons have no such scruples!
Even our own experience contradicts such ridiculous regulations on behavior. Many young human males can supply accounts of an initially unwilling sexual partner who enjoyed themselves once their resistance was overcome by the more dominant will of the sexual initiator.
And of course there is the tragic situation in which some people, enslaved to traditional thought, actually consider sex itself to be bad! These poor individuals often must be forcibly taught the pleasure and goodness of their own sexuality, or they will never learn it!
Thus we see that consent, as with age, is nothing more than the unconscious vestige of a traditional moralism in which human sexual behavior cannot be conceived of outside of an artificial regiment of prohibitions, controls, and oppressions. A proposal to remove such limitations from our thought is not so much modest as mandatory.
Human sexuality is natural and should be completely uninhibited. Down with any and all forms of repression and control! Down with those antiquated prohibitions and reservations which were formerly known as principles of behavior!