There are right ways to watch a film

In my short lifetime, I've discovered certain timeless axioms that one can always count on to remain true.We all know that you can't fix stupid, that it isn't about the journey but the destination, that life isn't always fair, and that to have more than we've got, we must become more than we are.

Along with these, I contribute this: There will always be people who go to the movies.

I've worked as a movie theater usher and projectionist for a little over three years now, and in those three years it has become starkly clear to me that the general public will always go to the movies to fulfill their need to be entertained.

Unfortunately, I've also come to realize that a significant number of movie-goers have very little idea how to properly watch a movie in a theater. I believe I can remedy this.

Having spent the past three years observing our customers, I have compiled a broad, but certainly helpful, checklist of five criteria that can vastly enhance the experience of watching a movie.

This is my how-to list for going to the movies.

1. Be on time. This should be pretty obvious, but we're covering all bases here. It's like a coworker of mine pointed out the other day, "The first 10 minutes of a movie are often the most important." No huge revelations here. If you're late for a movie, you'll have to work to catch up on the plot.

2. If you have the opportunity, go watch a movie by yourself. This is how I prefer to see movies. I understand some people have spouses, significant others and family members, but going alone can really allow for greater immersion in the film itself. I can assure you that you won't look like a lonely introvert to the staff at the theater. We see it all the time.

3. Minimize trips out of the theater. I know, I know. You just absolutely have to use the bathroom or buy more snacks. I'm right there with you. However, you jeopardize your chance to hear that one bombshell line or see good finally triumph over evil by doing this.

For example, what if you had been in the restroom when Ed Helms belted out "Stu's Song" in "The Hangover"? Think about it. The horror.

4. Follow the rules, and not just because I'm a stickler for them.
Listen, you just paid $6, $7, maybe $8 to get into the show. Why risk getting thrown out because you can't stay off your cell phone? Keep it in your pocket for an hour and a half.

The big issue here is distractions. The second you crunch into that taco you snuck in, everybody in the room hates you, and that includes the person who is with you. Trust me, I know.

5. Know what your tastes are, and cater to them accordingly. I simply do not understand people who come to the movies just to "see what's on" and pick a random title.

Go to the theater with a purpose! Be excited about what you're going to see. Though, I may add, if you happen to not enjoy your movie, keep in mind that you chose it. The people who work there didn't make the movie, or ask you to go watch it. Keep your glares to yourself, thank you.

The famous and celebrated director Roman Polanski once said, "Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater."

I do agree, and I add that those of us sitting in the theater must do our part as well.

So, there's the list. I hope you find it useful, and that you are able to have a better experience because of it.